Wonder
by Azora
Summary: *Song-fic* Rinoa takes some time out to tell us a bit about how she feels about taking chances, and how she feels about Squall.


^-^-^-^-^-^--Wonder--^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^ 

Just a little songfic using Michelle Branch's "Second Chances". 

___________________

Do you ever get that feeling? That feeling where your heart stops, and you can't breathe? And then your special someone appears, and you can suddenly breathe again? And they tell you everything will be alright? Do you ever feel like you always somehow get another second chance no matter how much you screwed up? Or how someone else does, and you don't? I get that all the time. But our special moment was only once. The special moment where he made me feel better. 

That day that I got lost in space, he came after me. He came even though he knew he could have died. I don't know what made him do it even now. I had a crush on him, but I really didn't believe he cared. He had this cold exterior that you couldn't get through. But he came anyway. 

** Sometimes we get second chances  
And sometimes we never make it past the first  
It really makes you wonder why some things happen when they do  
It really makes me wonder why it wasn't me instead of you **

I remember feeling so scared when my oxygen tank went to empty. The little machine kept counting down. Five seconds until oxygen is gone, then four, and so on. It was so scary. So scary to think that I was only sixteen, and that I wasn't going to make it to seventeen. I thought about everything. I guess I had one of those life-flash sequences, because I remembered details that I wouldn't have thought about before. I remembered sitting in my father's lounge, playing with the little model soldiers on the battle strategy maps, sitting on my mother's lap while she played her piano in the lounge. I could even smell her perfume and daddy's cologne mixed together hanging in the air, floating and touching everything. I must have blacked out though. 

When I woke up, my mother's wedding ring floating in my helmet, pulling the chain along with it. His ring was knocking against it, like it was struggling for space. And then the chain twisted and they were both wrapped together. I took my first breath, surprised that I was even able. I had thought I was dead. And then after a few moments, he came. 

** And when you say  
It doesn't matter, well it does  
And all it takes  
Is a mistake to eat your words  
Just one more time I think I'll drive on home tonight **

I never felt so happy. He pulled me into his arms, and through the little radio I could hear him saying that it was okay. And I felt okay because he said that. The way his voice pronounced the syllables, everything inside me felt okay. I didn't even think about the fact that we both could have died out there until we were in the Ragnarok's Air Room. And then, I didn't really think about it then either. 

There were all these monsters aboard the ship, and I didn't think I could handle them. They were huge, and there were pairs of them. All I had to do was listen to his voice telling me that I could do it, and I had bounds of energy. I wonder if anyone else feels that effect from him? 

** Sometimes we never see the warning  
And the voice in your head tells you not to go  
It really makes me wonder why some things happen when they do  
It really makes me wonder why it wasn't me instead of you **

Once we were in the control room, we received the message to land near Esthar and to give the sorceress, me, up. I felt so sad. That's when I really had thought about it. He must have cared to risk his life for me, didn't he? Or had he just been doing his duty? His duty to protect me through the contract with Garden? 

As I sat on his lap, he changed my mind. He has this way of erasing all the doubt. I think that's why we beat Ultimecia. He gave us a pep talk, and we knew exactly why we were fighting. I must have sat there for an hour, just listening to him tell me that he didn't want me to give myself up. That he cared for me, and didn't want me to leave him as soon as he realized what his feelings were. 

** And when you say  
It doesn't matter, well it does  
And all it takes  
Is a mistake to eat your words  
Just one more time I think I'll drive on home tonight **

I didn't really want to leave either, but I had to. If I wasn't locked up, I could have destroyed the world. Ultimecia probably hadn't been ready to make her move, but it still scared me. What if I had turned the world into dust that would float around the universe? What if I hurt my new friends, or even him? I didn't know anything about my powers then. It just made me shake 

I released myself to the officials when we landed. He tried persuading me to stay, but I couldn't do that. I was still thinking about how the sorceress from the future had possessed me when I was on the space station. I had been able to see what I had been doing, but I had been so powerless. So helpless. I wanted everyone to be safe. Safe from me. 

** And when you look, its gone  
Its too late to turn around  
And it's another day facing yourself and the things that you've done **

They locked me in the chamber where I was attached to some sort of metal frame. Then foamy white-gray gas surrounded me, and I felt myself slipping out of reality. Before I totally fell asleep, I thought about our talk. And I thought about what I felt. I felt the same thing for him as he had confessed to me. Maybe even stronger. And it wasn't no longer a crush. 

If he hadn't arrived before the gas had reached its full effect, I probably would have never came out of the coma the gas brought on. I had only went into the second stage when he had pulled out his gunblade and smashed through all the tubes and crystals. It woke me, and I saw him standing, waiting about two yards away. I stumbled towards him, thinking that it was just a dream from the gas. But when I collapsed into his arms, and was surrounded by his leather jacket, I knew he was real. And, once more because of him I was alive. 

** And when you say  
It doesn't matter, well it does  
And all it takes  
Is a mistake to eat your words  
Just one more time I think I'll drive on home tonight **

Squall's marrying me tomorrow. I know, everyone says it was going to happen some day, but I won't believe it until I hear the words, "I do" coming from his mouth. Because, now I know that I can't just dream. I've got to do. I've got to take my chances when I get them. He's the one who taught me that. And when he says those words to me, and the preacher announces us man and wife, I'm going to let him sweep me off my feet and give me another breath taking kiss, one like that night on the balcony. Except this time, I'm going to be telling _him_ how much I love him. 

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Author Notes: Maybe my muses are returning after all. This was just something I thought I'd write. It was just something I came up with, I swear. I don't own Rinoa, or Squall, and I don't own the lyrics to this song that I've used, "Second Chances", Michelle Branch. And since you've read all of this, why not review? ^_^ 

~Azora 


End file.
